Wednesday 26 March 2008

Boring TeleSales Calls

[jump] oops sorry had dozed off there due to today being the day the united covens of IT-tele-sales people of the UK get together for the Bore-a-geek-a-thon. I have just had my 5th "Hello Mr Mc [pause] ..errr....[pause] Dough-a-nag [cough] would you have a few minutes?..."

My natural reaction is "No f**k off and die you unnatural spawn of an aardvark and a giraffe" (which is very unnatural indeed given the height difference) but my natural good nature and a life time of having good manners beat into me with the "polite stick" and visits to the "calm-retrospective-analysis-of-my-behavior-corner", takes over and I give them 5 minutes to sell me the latest wonderwidgetydoobrythingumygig.

Generally these conversations end with the question "..can I send you an email with all our details?" Usually I say "no thank you i am not interested" and hang up. Today for some reason I decided that I would give them my email, well not my email ... an email. So my new professional address is

I told him we were the people who put the perforations into rolls of toilet paper ... hence the company name. He, bless his specially reinforced cotton gusseted underpants , believed me and tried to get it written down.. "which dots are dots and which are dots" was mentioned several times. So I told him the sixth and the twelfth dots are dots whilst the other dots are just dots. It took all of 10 minutes for him to suss out I was taking the piss, unlike the rest of my office who were listening in, the call being on speaker phone..... Sadly this chap was not blessed with the wit god gave limpets.

I do hope he made a sale today :)


Anonymous said...

Steve, now just imagine this sales person might have had something interesting like a MacBook for half the price or similar. Or perhaps a better job that pays twice the rate you are on now.

You might never get the info ;)

Steve McDonagh said...

@Anon - sadly no! He wanted to sell me some software that doesn't run on the HW we have. I don' think that particular item was mentioned on his script cos he just kept on going. LOL

However if there are any people who want to give me a half prize macbook or a better job with twice the ££'s please do.. you can reach me via this blog ;-)

Disqus for Domi-No-Yes-Maybe