 |  |
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 | .....and then the geeks started to arrive at hotels, B&Bs. The throb of expectation was as thick in the as the clicking of keys as tweets filled the twiterverse .... ... To be continued |
Showing posts with label ILUG 2008. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ILUG 2008. Show all posts
Wednesday 11 June 2008
ILUG 08 - Graphic Novel - Part 1 The summoning
Obviously click on the weenies to make them biggies
Tuesday 10 June 2008
Sneak preview ILUG 08 "the graphic Novel" storyboard
Gentle reader ..... ILUG as we are all now well aware is over ~sigh~
However for those of you who couldn't be there or for those of you who missed all the good bits
the ILUG 2008 graphic novel is well underway and should be available soon.
The story boards are all done and the colouring in has begun ... watch this blog for developments
But as a taster here are two of the story boards...
However for those of you who couldn't be there or for those of you who missed all the good bits
the ILUG 2008 graphic novel is well underway and should be available soon.
The story boards are all done and the colouring in has begun ... watch this blog for developments
But as a taster here are two of the story boards...
Sunday 8 June 2008
ILUG Music - If you are interested
For those of you that weren't there you may want to listen to the mixes that were specially commissioned for the starting session and several of the other ILUG sessions
So if you feel that way inclined here they are, see how many voices you recognise in (a) and (c) :-
(a) At the opening session
(b) At the start of Duffbert's session
(c) At the start of Rob Novak's session
Several of you will have seen the start of ILUG (The graphic novel) I am pleased to say that after a shaky start this is well underway and should be published on this blog in the next week or so.
(Names have been changed to protect the guilty)
So if you feel that way inclined here they are, see how many voices you recognise in (a) and (c) :-
(a) At the opening session
(b) At the start of Duffbert's session
(c) At the start of Rob Novak's session
Several of you will have seen the start of ILUG (The graphic novel) I am pleased to say that after a shaky start this is well underway and should be published on this blog in the next week or so.
(Names have been changed to protect the guilty)
Saturday 7 June 2008
In response to Paul Mooney''s picture of Coatsie's cupboard
Paul Mooney posted this picture of Coatsie's cupboard on his blog
And as Coatsie is too much of a gentleman to sully himself with a response I feel beholding to do so on his behalf... This is why his cupboards are the way they are..
** Please be aware clicking on this link does lead both to an explanation and a rather nice picture that would not be suitable for the eyes of minors or those at work **
And as Coatsie is too much of a gentleman to sully himself with a response I feel beholding to do so on his behalf... This is why his cupboards are the way they are..
** Please be aware clicking on this link does lead both to an explanation and a rather nice picture that would not be suitable for the eyes of minors or those at work **
ILUG 2008 - Self Confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings
Gentle Reader
This author is recently returned from his second sojourn to the "big smoke" to that wonderfully joyous explosion that is was and will be the annual Irish Lotus User Group conference.
The title of this post is a quote from Samuel Johnston that (a) underlines that I can on occasions be both erudite and witty when totally sober and (b) because it is so patently true!
I am loathe to pick out any of all the men,women and bunnies involved as they all combined to prove once again that it is possible to put on an event that is relaxed, informative and most of all fun! There is a throb to the event that remains constant over the years which for most if not all attendees will echo in their professional lives for a long time .... so to all the organizing team, sponsors and speakers... WELL DONE! A-PLUS , GOLD STAR, you are a resource beyond value to the notes ecosystem.
This year had 4 strands of sessions, which it has to be said meant that I didn't get to see all the ones I wanted to see. But those I did get to were all excellent.
Lets see some of the high points from the sessions I did attend. I have to say a big well done to Ben Poole and Mark Myers! Who managed to keep me awake with their "debut" session. Even if Ben was dressed far to respectably. However from the back row, where there was a critical mass of McDonaghs (Me and Rob) Had be worn a white coat there would have been a striking resemblance to "Beaker" or perhaps that was just something that crept into my mind because of the title of their session. Regardless of muppet references they managed to fill their session interest and humour ;-)
Mary-Beth on Notes 8.5 -- those Quickr pen drives smart, I must remember to wear a helmet during her perambles, that aside v8.5 looks to be making most of the right noises and a few more unexpected interesting ones.
Paul and Warren almost achieving the impossible and getting "Traveller" working only being beaten by a recalcitrant Orange Phone.
Duffbert giving me food for thought in his "plumber to painter" session, my apps will have to become better looking now! Oh and I even came a way with a really interesting book on CSS thanks to Duffbert's "Book Pushers"
Mary-Beth (again) and Andrew on Live-Text and Widgets .. this added to Julian "composite application" Robichaux speed-geeking session will provide much grist to the McDonagh Application Mill in the next few weeks.
Rob Novak on Dojo - fantastic .. much to chew over in the next few days!
Speed-geeking - Awesome and humbling to discover that Julian can speak for 5 minutes without apparently drawing breath AND his wife didn't bat an eyelid! Perhaps she knows his secret breathing orifice?
Speed-sponsoring - Marvelous! Truly marvelous! Sales People getting to the point QUICKLY!
Coatsie - What can one say? Balloon Animals and Toasted Bagels with microwaved cheese @3am a genius!
Bill Buchan whose previously undiscovered talent for Alien's effigy construction
allowed for the in absentia FUTILE exorcism of Francie to be completed under the gaze of a Notes Geek Moon. Bill's construction kinda looked a bit like someone we all know called Ed OR had we had Duffber's "Standard Big Red Plunger" a dalek ..... you really had to be there .. and if you were I do apologise)
So ILUG thanks for the opportunity to learn loads of new stuff, to rekindle old friendships and forge new ones, ooooh and to have a really great time..
THANKS A LOT! :)
See you all next year!
This author is recently returned from his second sojourn to the "big smoke" to that wonderfully joyous explosion that is was and will be the annual Irish Lotus User Group conference.
The title of this post is a quote from Samuel Johnston that (a) underlines that I can on occasions be both erudite and witty when totally sober and (b) because it is so patently true!
I am loathe to pick out any of all the men,women and bunnies involved as they all combined to prove once again that it is possible to put on an event that is relaxed, informative and most of all fun! There is a throb to the event that remains constant over the years which for most if not all attendees will echo in their professional lives for a long time .... so to all the organizing team, sponsors and speakers... WELL DONE! A-PLUS , GOLD STAR, you are a resource beyond value to the notes ecosystem.
This year had 4 strands of sessions, which it has to be said meant that I didn't get to see all the ones I wanted to see. But those I did get to were all excellent.
Lets see some of the high points from the sessions I did attend. I have to say a big well done to Ben Poole and Mark Myers! Who managed to keep me awake with their "debut" session. Even if Ben was dressed far to respectably. However from the back row, where there was a critical mass of McDonaghs (Me and Rob) Had be worn a white coat there would have been a striking resemblance to "Beaker" or perhaps that was just something that crept into my mind because of the title of their session. Regardless of muppet references they managed to fill their session interest and humour ;-)
Mary-Beth on Notes 8.5 -- those Quickr pen drives smart, I must remember to wear a helmet during her perambles, that aside v8.5 looks to be making most of the right noises and a few more unexpected interesting ones.
Paul and Warren almost achieving the impossible and getting "Traveller" working only being beaten by a recalcitrant Orange Phone.
Duffbert giving me food for thought in his "plumber to painter" session, my apps will have to become better looking now! Oh and I even came a way with a really interesting book on CSS thanks to Duffbert's "Book Pushers"
Mary-Beth (again) and Andrew on Live-Text and Widgets .. this added to Julian "composite application" Robichaux speed-geeking session will provide much grist to the McDonagh Application Mill in the next few weeks.
Rob Novak on Dojo - fantastic .. much to chew over in the next few days!
Speed-geeking - Awesome and humbling to discover that Julian can speak for 5 minutes without apparently drawing breath AND his wife didn't bat an eyelid! Perhaps she knows his secret breathing orifice?
Speed-sponsoring - Marvelous! Truly marvelous! Sales People getting to the point QUICKLY!
Coatsie - What can one say? Balloon Animals and Toasted Bagels with microwaved cheese @3am a genius!
Bill Buchan whose previously undiscovered talent for Alien's effigy construction
allowed for the in absentia FUTILE exorcism of Francie to be completed under the gaze of a Notes Geek Moon. Bill's construction kinda looked a bit like someone we all know called Ed OR had we had Duffber's "Standard Big Red Plunger" a dalek ..... you really had to be there .. and if you were I do apologise)
So ILUG thanks for the opportunity to learn loads of new stuff, to rekindle old friendships and forge new ones, ooooh and to have a really great time..
THANKS A LOT! :)
See you all next year!
Saturday 31 May 2008
OK ILUG is upon us - all you foreign visitors take heed!
Just checked and it is around 3 days and 20 hours till Mr Mooney's and the rest of the ILUG organizational gang's collective blood pressure will have peaked and the unstoppable force that is ILUG first session will be in full swing.
Now this bit is important. Normal packing for Ireland involves anything that is waterproof as are natural state is if now wet, damp. We have two climatic conditions "it is raining" and "it is about to rain". HOWEVER it would appear that we may be blessed with a day or two of sun. So I would where I you pack both your wet weather gear and the sun block. I don't get to say THAT to often. As a neighbour said to me today when I went for a wander to the local shop for milk. "If this is global warming.. BRING IT ON!"
Right to the job in hand, somethings to remember The ILUG organisers have looked after your every need during the conference hours .. however you will (if you take a drink)be expected to participate in some post session drinkies.
There’s a thing about going for a pint in Ireland. When you go “for one,” it never means one. Hospitality won’t allow it.
You see, rarely does each person buy their own drink. In fact, it’s almost considered rude. For example: Suppose two people say they’re “going for one.” Either one or the other gets the first round, obligating the second person to get the next. This means the attempt to “go for one” with a friend is doomed from the start by the presence of said friend and at ILUG this may mean several dozen friends all in loosely bound and fluid rounds of "going for one".
But the problem doesn’t stop there. While pubs are sometimes open from early morning, most Irish people don’t tend to head to the pub until 10pm or later. Things don’t get going in Irish pubs until around 11pm. This causes problems.
Say four people go for “one” on a Thursday evening. Everyone finally arrives at about 10:30pm and the first round is ordered. Before you know it, closing time is looming. Not wanting to seem tight (that’s “cheap” to you, Mr & Mrs USA), everyone tries to get their round in. Suddenly, our four friends (because whether they were friends or not before, they certainly are feeling the love now) have consumed at least 4 rounds of drink in less than an hour. A sense of deep camradery and goodwill has descended on their ever-lightening heads. They’re feeling good. They’re singing songs. They’re falling out the door, encouraged by the impatient bar staff.
It just wouldn’t be right to put the brakes on something that’s going so well, would it? Someone suggests the night club. A rousing cheer sounds. Our ILUG friends (friends? Hell, they’re practically family at this point) are paying into the nightclub for the opportunity to listen to overly loud music that went out of style in the 1980s and pay twice or three times the normal going rate for drinks. Seeing as the music is now too loud for conversation and the nightclub too wedged for them to stand all together, they concentrate their energies on those overpriced drinks. And, funny enough, those feckin nightclub glasses must be half the size of normal ones - they seem to empty twice as fast!
Aaaaaaaaand now it’s 2am and our four closely related family members are so ballixed they can hardly recognise each other. Ah well, throw an arm around whoever is closest to ya, we’re all good friends here... the conversation will go like this
“Anyone hungry?”
“I could eat a nun’s arse through a convent gate.”
“Jaysus, I’d kill for some garlic curry cheese and bacon chips.”
.. and this gentle reader is what makes you feel ill the next day .. not the
8 pints of Guinness, 3 Whiskeys, 2 Vodkas, 2 Mohito's and something blue that had a camel twizzler, an umbrella and 3 slices of mango in it. (Note ... "Well MaryBeth had one - and she is an important figure in the notes world" is not an excuse that wears well the next day when you throw up on Fluffy!)
See you all at ILUG :-)
Now this bit is important. Normal packing for Ireland involves anything that is waterproof as are natural state is if now wet, damp. We have two climatic conditions "it is raining" and "it is about to rain". HOWEVER it would appear that we may be blessed with a day or two of sun. So I would where I you pack both your wet weather gear and the sun block. I don't get to say THAT to often. As a neighbour said to me today when I went for a wander to the local shop for milk. "If this is global warming.. BRING IT ON!"
Right to the job in hand, somethings to remember The ILUG organisers have looked after your every need during the conference hours .. however you will (if you take a drink)be expected to participate in some post session drinkies.
There’s a thing about going for a pint in Ireland. When you go “for one,” it never means one. Hospitality won’t allow it.
You see, rarely does each person buy their own drink. In fact, it’s almost considered rude. For example: Suppose two people say they’re “going for one.” Either one or the other gets the first round, obligating the second person to get the next. This means the attempt to “go for one” with a friend is doomed from the start by the presence of said friend and at ILUG this may mean several dozen friends all in loosely bound and fluid rounds of "going for one".
But the problem doesn’t stop there. While pubs are sometimes open from early morning, most Irish people don’t tend to head to the pub until 10pm or later. Things don’t get going in Irish pubs until around 11pm. This causes problems.
Say four people go for “one” on a Thursday evening. Everyone finally arrives at about 10:30pm and the first round is ordered. Before you know it, closing time is looming. Not wanting to seem tight (that’s “cheap” to you, Mr & Mrs USA), everyone tries to get their round in. Suddenly, our four friends (because whether they were friends or not before, they certainly are feeling the love now) have consumed at least 4 rounds of drink in less than an hour. A sense of deep camradery and goodwill has descended on their ever-lightening heads. They’re feeling good. They’re singing songs. They’re falling out the door, encouraged by the impatient bar staff.
It just wouldn’t be right to put the brakes on something that’s going so well, would it? Someone suggests the night club. A rousing cheer sounds. Our ILUG friends (friends? Hell, they’re practically family at this point) are paying into the nightclub for the opportunity to listen to overly loud music that went out of style in the 1980s and pay twice or three times the normal going rate for drinks. Seeing as the music is now too loud for conversation and the nightclub too wedged for them to stand all together, they concentrate their energies on those overpriced drinks. And, funny enough, those feckin nightclub glasses must be half the size of normal ones - they seem to empty twice as fast!
Aaaaaaaaand now it’s 2am and our four closely related family members are so ballixed they can hardly recognise each other. Ah well, throw an arm around whoever is closest to ya, we’re all good friends here... the conversation will go like this
“Anyone hungry?”
“I could eat a nun’s arse through a convent gate.”
“Jaysus, I’d kill for some garlic curry cheese and bacon chips.”
.. and this gentle reader is what makes you feel ill the next day .. not the
8 pints of Guinness, 3 Whiskeys, 2 Vodkas, 2 Mohito's and something blue that had a camel twizzler, an umbrella and 3 slices of mango in it. (Note ... "Well MaryBeth had one - and she is an important figure in the notes world" is not an excuse that wears well the next day when you throw up on Fluffy!)
See you all at ILUG :-)
Monday 26 May 2008
ILUG2008 Anthem (Celtic Drum and Bass Mix)
This is not the finished Mix.. just a rough draft.....
But imagine the opening session.. the crowd is restless ... the lights dim and
this starts to play ... the speakers take the stage.. loads of dry ice and lasers
Sorry the talking notes samples arent quite there yet ...and the ending of this clips got all cut up ... don't know how that happened and I could'nt be arsed doing a fade out before bed
Expect the 5 minute full mix in a day or two.
Get a wee sample MP3 here...
But imagine the opening session.. the crowd is restless ... the lights dim and
this starts to play ... the speakers take the stage.. loads of dry ice and lasers
Sorry the talking notes samples arent quite there yet ...and the ending of this clips got all cut up ... don't know how that happened and I could'nt be arsed doing a fade out before bed
Expect the 5 minute full mix in a day or two.
Get a wee sample MP3 here...
Saturday 24 May 2008
Tuesday 20 May 2008
ILUG Countdown thingumy dodah
If anyone wants the code for the banner up at the top let me know and I will email it to you
Thursday 8 May 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom Part 10 - Noogerty O'Toogerty speaks out
An now a guest speaker who happened to be in town will guide you in recognising Irishness in yourself, take it away professor.....
Sunday 4 May 2008
Saturday 3 May 2008
Wednesday 30 April 2008
ILUG Countdown - The 5 Weeks to go checklist
Gentle Reader,
Tis now 5 weeks to the day until the great and the geeky will have upped sticks and will have installed themselves in dublin's fair city for the Dominofest that is ILUG 08.
Here is a convenient check packing list for you
Tynedol - 48 Pack extra extra strong
AlkaSeltzer - Anti-Irish Fry Up catering pack
Kilt (Gay Gordon Tartan) for Wild Bill's Sessions and being sexy in the evening
24 Bottles of Koppraberg Cider (Sean B. only)
Clean underwear .o0(just in case you meet the Lady President or Queen)
All your Session Materials even if you are not a presenter - Just in case you have to fill in
Collection of ultra-geeky or just plain amusing teeshirts
The "UberGeek Hecklers Handbook" for either of the Rob's sessions - prizes for best dopey question
An inflatable sheep
** Updated** at least one of the following Bodhran, Guitar, Grande Piano,Fiddle,Whistle for wee sing-songs
A Basketball for those boring gaps between sessions and NO-ONE remembers the ball!
Cancel RSS feed to alt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape BEFORE you present your session on widgets
Cultivate an accent that is not your own. It will confuse the organizing team.
If you are not a Guinness drinker say "it's OK for my poo to go black" 10 times every day
If presenting, invent at least one bit of jargon. Slip it into to your session and see if anyone nods in agreement when you mention it
If attending - practice rustling (no that is NOT what the sheep is for) paper is good, crisp bags or humbug wrappers are recommended (Psssssst- remember Ben Poole's session is the target RustleFest this year!)
Start considering at least one weird thing a day Irish pubs require you to be fully conversant in weird-
here's one for starters "Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATMs?"
here's another "What happens to a slinky on an escalator?"
Tis now 5 weeks to the day until the great and the geeky will have upped sticks and will have installed themselves in dublin's fair city for the Dominofest that is ILUG 08.
Here is a convenient check packing list for you
Tynedol - 48 Pack extra extra strong
AlkaSeltzer - Anti-Irish Fry Up catering pack
Kilt (Gay Gordon Tartan) for Wild Bill's Sessions and being sexy in the evening
24 Bottles of Koppraberg Cider (Sean B. only)
Clean underwear .o0(just in case you meet the Lady President or Queen)
All your Session Materials even if you are not a presenter - Just in case you have to fill in
Collection of ultra-geeky or just plain amusing teeshirts
The "UberGeek Hecklers Handbook" for either of the Rob's sessions - prizes for best dopey question
An inflatable sheep
** Updated** at least one of the following Bodhran, Guitar, Grande Piano,Fiddle,Whistle for wee sing-songs
A Basketball for those boring gaps between sessions and NO-ONE remembers the ball!
Cancel RSS feed to alt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape BEFORE you present your session on widgets
Cultivate an accent that is not your own. It will confuse the organizing team.
If you are not a Guinness drinker say "it's OK for my poo to go black" 10 times every day
If presenting, invent at least one bit of jargon. Slip it into to your session and see if anyone nods in agreement when you mention it
If attending - practice rustling (no that is NOT what the sheep is for) paper is good, crisp bags or humbug wrappers are recommended (Psssssst- remember Ben Poole's session is the target RustleFest this year!)
Start considering at least one weird thing a day Irish pubs require you to be fully conversant in weird-
here's one for starters "Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATMs?"
here's another "What happens to a slinky on an escalator?"
Monday 21 April 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom for our non-irish guests Part 9
Oh My Gentle Reader .. so much to impart so little time ... ILUG starts in ... err... 6 weeks and one day! The ILUG team are all beavering away behind the scenes ensuring that it will run as smoothly and be as wonderful as the previous ILUGs. However gentle reader, and particularly the ones who are destined to impart their wisdom to the great un-washed Celtic Lotusian horde that time will move faster than a Chicken Naga through the instestine of a dyspepsic Quickplace administrator considering upgrading to Quickr. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! time is running out for those thrilling presentations and for you to practise witty repartee!
Anyhoos, I am going to take this post to have a bit of a moan about the slide into cultural uniformity that appears to be afflicting Ireland of late. Now many are the reasons for this particular problem however the sea change started when Ireland became a destination rather than a departure point for immigration. Now don't get me wrong I am all for multiculturalism and the like however there are great swathes of "irishness" being replaced by "euroness" and to be honest my main problem with that is that it is rather boring.
Take for example Aerobic classes. AEROBIC CLASSES? ... FOR MEN? Tis enuff for the average Irishman to know that anything useful (beer, whiskey and if pushed Vin...Rouge) is made AN-Aerobically. Therefore we know, deep down inside, that this AEROBIC stuff is probably not that useful. Coupled with the thought that this could all be a cunning marketing plan by the makers of Lyrca. Given that they designed a material that has no earthly use to any female over 90lbs and should be banned from male sports bags by international treaty, I am supposing they have invented Aerobics to get rid of all the non-valued stock they have.
Like cocaine ... simple jumping up and down was not enuff... then there was Jazzercize, Tae Bo, Step Classes,Bums'n'Tums (or Arses'n'Guts as it is known in Belfast) and the very worrying Cross-Trainer. Well I imagine that any trainer would be cross. I am sure lycra makes the old nether regions sweat and then chaff like crazy.
Having some gobshite in lime green and charisse lycra leap around like a mad thing yelling things like "Ok lets get Funcky with it" and "shake your booty till you feel the burn" is very possibly permissible if you are (a) from South Central LA or (b) you are in Spinal Tap (c) you are stark raving bonkers, but in Ireland on a wet Monday in April it is just plain silly! Large numbers of the population have been sucked into this conspiracy and now see nothing wrong squeezing their cellulite into pastel colured elastic and wobbling along to the latest ditty by Westlife or Boyzone.
MADNESS I SAY MADNESS AND THRICE MADNESS! Sitting on my arse watching the Rugby drinking tea and loudly demanding to be fed at regular intervals was good enough for generations of Patricks, Mickys and Oisins, it is damn well good enuff for me.
So gentle reader be aware that true "Irishness" may be harder to find in Dublin than you think, but be assured under the Nike Swoop and McDonald's arch, you can still find the odd trace of Molly Malone and hear the echo of her piscatorial advertising song.
Steve
Anyhoos, I am going to take this post to have a bit of a moan about the slide into cultural uniformity that appears to be afflicting Ireland of late. Now many are the reasons for this particular problem however the sea change started when Ireland became a destination rather than a departure point for immigration. Now don't get me wrong I am all for multiculturalism and the like however there are great swathes of "irishness" being replaced by "euroness" and to be honest my main problem with that is that it is rather boring.
Take for example Aerobic classes. AEROBIC CLASSES? ... FOR MEN? Tis enuff for the average Irishman to know that anything useful (beer, whiskey and if pushed Vin...Rouge) is made AN-Aerobically. Therefore we know, deep down inside, that this AEROBIC stuff is probably not that useful. Coupled with the thought that this could all be a cunning marketing plan by the makers of Lyrca. Given that they designed a material that has no earthly use to any female over 90lbs and should be banned from male sports bags by international treaty, I am supposing they have invented Aerobics to get rid of all the non-valued stock they have.
Like cocaine ... simple jumping up and down was not enuff... then there was Jazzercize, Tae Bo, Step Classes,Bums'n'Tums (or Arses'n'Guts as it is known in Belfast) and the very worrying Cross-Trainer. Well I imagine that any trainer would be cross. I am sure lycra makes the old nether regions sweat and then chaff like crazy.
Having some gobshite in lime green and charisse lycra leap around like a mad thing yelling things like "Ok lets get Funcky with it" and "shake your booty till you feel the burn" is very possibly permissible if you are (a) from South Central LA or (b) you are in Spinal Tap (c) you are stark raving bonkers, but in Ireland on a wet Monday in April it is just plain silly! Large numbers of the population have been sucked into this conspiracy and now see nothing wrong squeezing their cellulite into pastel colured elastic and wobbling along to the latest ditty by Westlife or Boyzone.
MADNESS I SAY MADNESS AND THRICE MADNESS! Sitting on my arse watching the Rugby drinking tea and loudly demanding to be fed at regular intervals was good enough for generations of Patricks, Mickys and Oisins, it is damn well good enuff for me.
So gentle reader be aware that true "Irishness" may be harder to find in Dublin than you think, but be assured under the Nike Swoop and McDonald's arch, you can still find the odd trace of Molly Malone and hear the echo of her piscatorial advertising song.
Steve
Tuesday 8 April 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom for our non-irish guests Part 8
Y0u may faced with someone, probably an American as this expression is common there, who in a fit of pique says to you, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' after a presentation that has perhaps bot gone as well as expected. This expression may be met with surprise by any locals within ear shot as we Ireland as we have a long and honorable Schitt family tradition and are intimately acquainted with the Schitts and all their doings.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt, an Austrian who emigrated to Ireland in the late 1800's
Awe Schitt then married to Ms. O. Merde, the daughter of the Franco-Indian fertilizer entrepreneur ,Needeep N. Merde
Mr Schitt and Ms Merde had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married his 2nd cousin twice removed from the "old country" Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Hollie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fullah Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, of the County Cork Schitts distant relatives
through the county Cork O'Schitt famiy. The most famous of these being the international cricketer Crock O'Schitt
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced as their marriage had gone down the pan.
Noe Schitt later married Edward Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted
to keep her previous name. She was then known as Mrs. Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married the exotic Chinese belly dancer Loda Poo, and they produced
a son with a rather nervous disposition who was rather cruelly nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens twins in a dual ceremony.
The Cork Inquirer trumpeted their nuptials on a front page spread entitled Schitt-Happens
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, Horse and Bull (named for his uncle) all of whom
except Bull are well respected politicians here in Ireland.
Bull Schitt, the black sheep of the family, left home to tour the world in 1984 after a close run
in with the police after a multi-million euro sheep rustling campaign in Co. Donegal. For several
years afterwards it was common when walking in a group of more that 5 to be stopped by the
Gardai and asked "Is This Bull Schitt?"
He was recently pardoned and has returned from exile in Italy with his Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So ILUG traveller you have been warned! Confusion might ensue were you to use the expression
noted at the start of this post as quite a few of the local's may well know or at least will have heard of Jack Schitt.
Wednesday 26 March 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom for our non-irish guests Part 7a
So, you have been keeping up date with this series? I do hope so as it is time for the mid-term pop-tests.
OK change your answer sheet with the person on the left..Highlight the table and review your answers.
Steve
| Question | Answer |
| Sot innit? | It is hot is it not? |
| Gayusyonyoke! | Give that thing to me at once! |
| SMTP451...Sumthinsupper | SMTP451...Something is amiss here |
| Eesferaff | He is about to leave |
| Arrufaretheday? | Are you well today? |
| Nathan Shudurbake! | Nathan Please be Quiet! |
| Volkler surwazheno? | Volker, what does he know? |
| Ben L sez Dussen Maar! | Ben L sayes it really doesn't matter |
| Snoteaindapot | That is is not tea in the pot |
| Steve, Henose nathin | Steve I am very dissmissive of his grasp of the facts |
| Hesgorr Quickr!Jammygit | He has got QuickR! Lucky person |
| Yousensgerrinany? | Is you private life replete with cuddles from your partner |
OK change your answer sheet with the person on the left..Highlight the table and review your answers.
Steve
Monday 24 March 2008
Just Released - the rush for Rob Novak's Free Beer and Code Session @ ILUG 07
Just released.. the rush for good seats at ILUG07's last session Rob Novak's "Free Code and Beer". You can clearly see Paul Mooney and Bill Buchan in poll position (bill is on the right) You can actually hear a cry of "gerrrrroutothewayfirmcummingthru"! The chap who takes the lead is an unknown Lotusscript developer from Northern Irish Rider keen to get the free booze.
Actually this the wonder that is the NW200 road race for motorcycles that happens in Ireland in May every year, 150-200K biker type people from all over the world invade my home town and watch folk like this go very very very fast (200+ mph) on ordinary roads (they are closed to traffic) ... It is fantastic! Drop me a line if you ever want to come and watch :)
Steve
Actually this the wonder that is the NW200 road race for motorcycles that happens in Ireland in May every year, 150-200K biker type people from all over the world invade my home town and watch folk like this go very very very fast (200+ mph) on ordinary roads (they are closed to traffic) ... It is fantastic! Drop me a line if you ever want to come and watch :)
Steve
Sunday 16 March 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom for our non-irish guests Part 7
If you have registered for ILUG and plan to come then it is possible that you will encounter at least one (me) if not more of the inhabitants of the northern 6 counties of Ireland. Not for us the soft brogue of the southern Irish which is probably more instantly recognizable as "Irish" for we use what is referred to as "Ulster-Scots". In fact when I travel I am more often mistaken for a Jock than I am for a Paddy. If anything we are harder to understand that the southerners, partly due to the fact that very very few tourists came to Ulster during the troubles so we only had ourselves to talk to. Even Dubliners find us hard to understand so don't feel bad if you can only pick up one word in 10 :) So here for your edification and elucidation is a short guide to some of the Ulsterish words that cause confusion , sowtizz....
| Ulsterish | English |
| A hinney onny sex | My supply of sacks is exhausted |
| Anorn | Another |
| Asse lef? | Has he left? |
| Bake | Mouth as in “I’ll draw ma haud across ye bake!” |
| Bare Chews | A pair of shoes |
| Bertie | Birthday |
| Biusabunma | Purchase for me a bun mother |
| Calusatate | Call me at 8 |
| Cowld | Cold |
| Chaps | Chips (Fries) |
| Childer | Children |
| Clod or Cloddin | Throw or Throwing |
| Cowl Swate | A cold sweat |
| Cryin bawkets | Inconsolable crying |
| Cumhereayewanya! | Would you come in NOW! (the NI mothering instinct call) |
| Dirt Bird | A person of poor personal hygiene |
| Dunt | A Bump or light thump |
| Deadly Crack | Considerable fun |
| Eejit | A pleasant fool |
| Fash | Fish |
| Fooster | To do nothing |
| Futter | To Fooster energetically |
| Gan | Going as in “Im gan hame” = I am going home |
| Gawn yacodya | Literally “Go on you cod you” = “are you joking?” |
| Greet | To cry pitifully |
| Gulpin | An annoying eejit |
| Haun | Hand |
| Hanneeanounce | The level of stupidity possessed by a gulpin |
| Haut | Hot |
| Heffate | Half past 8 |
| Hellyin | Half past 1 (you get the idea) |
| Jinno.. | Do you know …as in “jinno Ed Brill?”… Do you know Ed Brill? |
| Leton | Pseudo … as in “Leton Bananas” = Plastic fruit |
| Leararintait | Literally “leather in to it” as in do it quickly |
| Monmoan | I am on my own |
| Muchyurlukin | Literally “how much are you looking?” = How much is that |
| Mup | I am up, usually used in relpy to Yup? |
| Naawalnat! | No I will not! |
| Parritch | Porridge |
| Passion | Heavy Rain |
| Riz | I have got out of bed |
| Scar | It is a car |
| Sages | A long Time |
| Savan | Seven |
| Shizzent | She is not as in “Shizzent hir” = she is not here |
| Skite | Like a Dunt but harder |
| Soam | So I am, indicates resolve as in “Im gam soam” = I am definitely leaving now |
| Sowtizz | So it is, usually added at the end of an observation to show the person’s shock as in “squareandeed sowtizz” can also be used in the past tense as “SoTwaz” |
| Sodayi | So do I as in “he likes Notes 8.0.1 sodayi” |
| Sporing! | It is pouring … Response to the observation of “Passion” |
| Sqaureandeer | That is very expensive |
| Starvin | Either Cold or Hunger as in “I am starving way hunger” or “I am starving way cowl” |
| Stakenchaps | Steak and Chips (Fries) |
| Steeming | Very heavy rain, one up from passion |
| Taste | Toast |
| Thowl | Put up with as in “I Thowl thon eejit” = I put up with that idiot |
| Till | To .. As in “am away till the shaps” = I am going to the shops |
| Yup? | Are you out of bed yet? |
| Wance | Once |
| Whinge | The complaining a child does before getting a skite and starting to greet |
| Weelgupni | We will go up now = meaning We will go to bed now |
| Weeshire | A small shower of rain |
Saturday 8 March 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom for our non-irish guests Part 6 (A Serious Post)
Gentle readers,
now in this series of posts I am going to be serious for a while because we move away from Dublin and up to the north. The home of the Giant's Causeway, Bushmills Whiskey, Antrim Glens Poitín a land of mists and legends and up until about 10 years ago "the troubles".
"The troubles" is a topic that is best avoided in normal conversation. The wounds are still a bit raw and it is a big, century spanning topic where blame is equally spread around all concerned.
On the other hand ignoring things in the hope they go away is not a good thing to do... OK.. a quick spin thru my view of the 600 year history of Ireland.
Lots of Irish people were Roman Catholic while lots of English people were Protestant.This was fine when the Irish sea kept them apart. Then Queen Lizzie the first felt that there were far to many Catholics in Ireland and that was a bit risky so she sent loads of Protestants over to Ireland to balance things a bit (this was called "the plantation"). Several other Kings chose Ireland as a good spot to play out some dynastic squabbling. Most notable was William of Orange (a Protestant) who gave King James (a Catholic) a good thumping at several big battles in Ireland in the 1690's.
Now the native Irish Catholics and the Planted Protestants didn't really like each other. This dislike was inflamed by the fact that they were told that the other side had horns, where the forces of the anti-Christ and ate babies. Not forgetting the old saw that "you are poor and downtrodden cos of them" finger pointing. Oddly the people doing the pointing an finger waving were mainly either the people with the £'s or it was coming from their priests and pastors. These prejudices became ingrained as "truth" as they were passed down the generations.
They starting doing some bad stuff to each other and oddly this led to more bad stuff. The people with the £'s and the people in the churches sat back and let them get on with doing the bad stuff, which was fine unless it stopped the £'s rolling in or the congregations didn't tow the line. Things where made worse because government after government did some very stupid things, but then no-one was really surprised about that.
There were several big famines which the people with the £'s did nothing about, so large numbers of the poor irish (from both sides) either died or buggered off to the new world (taking their prejudices with them) ... and back home in Ireland the bad stuff kept on happening.
Then someone had the idea of an Irish republic, Ireland run by the Irish! Lots of Irish Catholics thought this was a good idea, the Protestants up north didn't. So the Protestants in the 6 northern counties were allowed to stay British whilst the rest of the island became the Irish Republic. This didn't really help cos not everyone was happy with the border. So the bad stuff continued to happen and started to increase in intensity. A whole new school of non-critical thinking evolved called "whataboutery", when a spokesperson was asked about a particular atrocity their side perpetrated the reply would start "well what about...." followed by examples of some of the other side's atrocities. So "my atrocities aren't as bad as your atrocities, so therefore mine are excusable QED" became a sort of acceptable form of reasoning. This sort of sloppy thinking was the reason it has taken around 600 years for the majority to discover that bad stuff stops when you start both talking and most importantly listening to the other side
The bad stuff has, near as damn it, stopped. There is still finger waggling and name calling on occasions and there are people who will just never get on with one another but there is a general consensus that at long last we are learning the lessons of the past and that we are stopping the sacrifice of our children to feed the worn-out dreams of yesterday.
I applaud all concerned :)
Steve.
now in this series of posts I am going to be serious for a while because we move away from Dublin and up to the north. The home of the Giant's Causeway, Bushmills Whiskey, Antrim Glens Poitín a land of mists and legends and up until about 10 years ago "the troubles".
"The troubles" is a topic that is best avoided in normal conversation. The wounds are still a bit raw and it is a big, century spanning topic where blame is equally spread around all concerned.
On the other hand ignoring things in the hope they go away is not a good thing to do... OK.. a quick spin thru my view of the 600 year history of Ireland.
Lots of Irish people were Roman Catholic while lots of English people were Protestant.This was fine when the Irish sea kept them apart. Then Queen Lizzie the first felt that there were far to many Catholics in Ireland and that was a bit risky so she sent loads of Protestants over to Ireland to balance things a bit (this was called "the plantation"). Several other Kings chose Ireland as a good spot to play out some dynastic squabbling. Most notable was William of Orange (a Protestant) who gave King James (a Catholic) a good thumping at several big battles in Ireland in the 1690's.
Now the native Irish Catholics and the Planted Protestants didn't really like each other. This dislike was inflamed by the fact that they were told that the other side had horns, where the forces of the anti-Christ and ate babies. Not forgetting the old saw that "you are poor and downtrodden cos of them" finger pointing. Oddly the people doing the pointing an finger waving were mainly either the people with the £'s or it was coming from their priests and pastors. These prejudices became ingrained as "truth" as they were passed down the generations.
They starting doing some bad stuff to each other and oddly this led to more bad stuff. The people with the £'s and the people in the churches sat back and let them get on with doing the bad stuff, which was fine unless it stopped the £'s rolling in or the congregations didn't tow the line. Things where made worse because government after government did some very stupid things, but then no-one was really surprised about that.
There were several big famines which the people with the £'s did nothing about, so large numbers of the poor irish (from both sides) either died or buggered off to the new world (taking their prejudices with them) ... and back home in Ireland the bad stuff kept on happening.
Then someone had the idea of an Irish republic, Ireland run by the Irish! Lots of Irish Catholics thought this was a good idea, the Protestants up north didn't. So the Protestants in the 6 northern counties were allowed to stay British whilst the rest of the island became the Irish Republic. This didn't really help cos not everyone was happy with the border. So the bad stuff continued to happen and started to increase in intensity. A whole new school of non-critical thinking evolved called "whataboutery", when a spokesperson was asked about a particular atrocity their side perpetrated the reply would start "well what about...." followed by examples of some of the other side's atrocities. So "my atrocities aren't as bad as your atrocities, so therefore mine are excusable QED" became a sort of acceptable form of reasoning. This sort of sloppy thinking was the reason it has taken around 600 years for the majority to discover that bad stuff stops when you start both talking and most importantly listening to the other side
The bad stuff has, near as damn it, stopped. There is still finger waggling and name calling on occasions and there are people who will just never get on with one another but there is a general consensus that at long last we are learning the lessons of the past and that we are stopping the sacrifice of our children to feed the worn-out dreams of yesterday.
I applaud all concerned :)
Steve.
Thursday 6 March 2008
ILUG 08 a guide to Irish Idiom for our non-irish guests Part 5
Ah now...gentle readers and potential ILUGers and ILUGettes , you may have thought the previous postings on the verbal insanity of us Irish was mildly amusing. I intend to turn the tables somewhat and try to refrain from making reference to pots, kettles and the fact that they are both black!
Consider the following statements :-
The farm used to produce produce.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
[authors shudders]
Also there is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple,
Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat, quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig and in what other language do people recite at a play and play a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, and have noses that run and feet that smell?
[sigh]
;-) Since the rest of the English speaking world can make fast and free with the language is it so strange that the Irish just put their own spin on it?
Slaun
Steve
Consider the following statements :-
The farm used to produce produce.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
[authors shudders]
Also there is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple,
Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat, quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig and in what other language do people recite at a play and play a recital, ship by truck and send cargo by ship, and have noses that run and feet that smell?
[sigh]
;-) Since the rest of the English speaking world can make fast and free with the language is it so strange that the Irish just put their own spin on it?
Slaun
Steve
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