Ah well a little late on the ball for the blog, but it is the week end and I was doing other things. Yesterday Nov 7th was the first Carl Sagan Day celebrating what would have been the eponymous scientist's 75th birthday.
Carl Sagan was one of my hero's as a teenager interested in all things scientific. One of the few "big" books that has followed me from house to house and has survived several "clear outs" is "Cosmos" and as my own small part in the celebrations of the day I re-read several of my favourite chapters.
Belated happy birthday Professor Sagan! You are missed!
Showing posts with label Science. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Science. Show all posts
Sunday 8 November 2009
Wednesday 24 December 2008
The SI unit for cock
In our GONADly deliberations at the annual bacchanalian debauch Mr Mooney and I discussed the design and production of a device that will bring world peace, end poverty and solve all the problems people have with Vista ... "The Cockometer" (pronounced Cock-om-eater not Cock-O-meter)
However in hindsight we may have been premature because I have contacted NIST and they even came in on Xmas Eve to check for me but there is no SI unit forus to measure Cock on the Cockometer. They did suggest that we could have a derived definition for the "Unit of Cock" which is now officially "The Cock" and they provided this useful table for the Cockometric Spectrum complete with examples for calibration
10 to the 24 is a Yottacock - this is reserved for Scientologist meetings and General Tom Cruise-iness
10 to the 21 is a Zettacock - any group of more than 1 politician
10 to the 18 is a Exacock - Chris Martin
10 to the 15 is a Petacock - Bill Gate's Sweater Purchasing Department
10 to the 12 is a Teracock - a coven of sharepoint developers
10 to the 9 is a Gigacock - Robert Scoble
10 to the 6 is a Megacock - The guy who thought vista was a good idea
10 to the 3 is a Kilocock - A group of cornered Java Developers
10 to the 2 is a Hectocock - People who drive Audi's
10 to the 1 is a Deka Cock - Normal Background level of Cockiness
10 to the -1 is a Decicock - Normal Background of Cockiness
10 to the -2 is a Centicock - 4 Notesians only one of which is an Admin
10 to the -3 is a Millicock - 10 Notesians (5 Devs and 5 Admins)
10 to the -6 is a Microcock- 100 Notesians (All Devs)
10 to the -9 is a Nanocock - Worst Practises Session at LS
10 to the -12 is a Picocock - Any conversation about Bikes or Beer
10 to the -15 is a Femtocock - the average level of cock at the bar in ILUG @ 7pm
10 to the -18 is a Attocock - the average level of cock at the bar in ILUG @ closing time
10 to the -21 is a Zeptocock - One of the Marx Brothers
10 to the -24 is a Yoctocock - The amount of cock on the moon (between manned landings)
OK now we have an agreed spectrum of Cock we can look at what colour the gauges should be...
Hmmmmmmm
However in hindsight we may have been premature because I have contacted NIST and they even came in on Xmas Eve to check for me but there is no SI unit forus to measure Cock on the Cockometer. They did suggest that we could have a derived definition for the "Unit of Cock" which is now officially "The Cock" and they provided this useful table for the Cockometric Spectrum complete with examples for calibration
10 to the 24 is a Yottacock - this is reserved for Scientologist meetings and General Tom Cruise-iness
10 to the 21 is a Zettacock - any group of more than 1 politician
10 to the 18 is a Exacock - Chris Martin
10 to the 15 is a Petacock - Bill Gate's Sweater Purchasing Department
10 to the 12 is a Teracock - a coven of sharepoint developers
10 to the 9 is a Gigacock - Robert Scoble
10 to the 6 is a Megacock - The guy who thought vista was a good idea
10 to the 3 is a Kilocock - A group of cornered Java Developers
10 to the 2 is a Hectocock - People who drive Audi's
10 to the 1 is a Deka Cock - Normal Background level of Cockiness
10 to the -1 is a Decicock - Normal Background of Cockiness
10 to the -2 is a Centicock - 4 Notesians only one of which is an Admin
10 to the -3 is a Millicock - 10 Notesians (5 Devs and 5 Admins)
10 to the -6 is a Microcock- 100 Notesians (All Devs)
10 to the -9 is a Nanocock - Worst Practises Session at LS
10 to the -12 is a Picocock - Any conversation about Bikes or Beer
10 to the -15 is a Femtocock - the average level of cock at the bar in ILUG @ 7pm
10 to the -18 is a Attocock - the average level of cock at the bar in ILUG @ closing time
10 to the -21 is a Zeptocock - One of the Marx Brothers
10 to the -24 is a Yoctocock - The amount of cock on the moon (between manned landings)
OK now we have an agreed spectrum of Cock we can look at what colour the gauges should be...
Hmmmmmmm
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