Wednesday 7 May 2008

An Ode to Server Problems

An Ode to Server Problems
(with a nod to Dr Seuss and a Wink at Duffbert)

If your code hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your Initialize() abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

It's not my code, it's tested, its wonderful and it's fine,
debugged to distraction, of this bug there is no sign,
I've showed it to the Phigment who thinks it needs a tweek,
A change here, a comma there is the solution that we seek.

My users they have told me that my app is so very slow
Not the kindest are their comments and my cheeks they are a glow
I am at a loss, i can't explain it.... its become my buggy foe
Wild Bill will make this #1 in his next worst practice show.

So if a cursor finds a doc link which is followed by a dash,
And double-clicking on a button puts your vista in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your server's gonna crash.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button or the mouse,
and your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a scouse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
cos as sure as sugar's sugar that bastards's gonna hang!

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