Friday 2 May 2008

Interesting Government Iconography - Duck & Cover 2008

Gentle Reader a chum sent me off to this site which i know is for USians and not Paddies like me. Ireland is of course ready. Every pub is equipped with emergency beer supplies and we are all trained to put our heads between our heads in the approved manner to kiss our asses goodbye.

However I digress .. one of the downloads had some interesting pictures which could be construed rather differently than the DHS would have you believe... i present the Irish version of "duck and cover 2008"
If a terrorist shoots a big red arrow at you, use your shoulder
to pin it against the wall and then wait for help to arrive.

If you spot a terrorist or something terrorist like
blow you red "I-can-see-a-terrorist" whistle
OR if you are a bald person shout very loudly.

If you have accidentally set yourself on fire DO NOT RUN!

If you are sprayed by a potentially noxious substance please stand
and think instead of seeking medical attention.

Just in case you get trapped in a fallen building
ensure you are carrying your Light Sabre

Michael Jackson is a "smooth criminal" not a terrorist!

In the event of a hurricane or a pile of dead things
Think about the how horrible it is before getting the
F**K out of there.

If the building falls on you, don't panic, give your self a blow
job under the table, it will relax you.

Radiation is a horrible thing and it could make you get very very
very tall. If it does, be careful going through doors, you WILL bang
your head. OH and DO watch out for the big red terrorist arrows
even when you are 60 feet tall they will smart!

If you hear songs by Michael Bolton, Phil Collins or the Back Street Boyz
Get the F**K out of there as fast as you can!

If a building falls on you and you DONT have your light sabre
well you have nobody to blame but yourself!
OH and do try not to fart!

In the event of terrorist attack you might loose a contact lens.
If you do, and cannot find it, roll on the ground and cry like a
baby until someone comes to help you.

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