How do you get down off an elephant?...
You don’t; you get down off a duck.
Or
Two men are out shopping for shirts.
They stop outside a shirt shop and one of the men points
to a rather fine hand made shirt in the window.
‘There’s the one I’d get.’
Just then, the owner- a cyclops- came out and punched him on the nose.
Or
What do you care? You don’t understand!
Two cows in a field.
One says, “I’m very worried about this mad cow disease”.
The other says, “It doesn’t bother me, Im a squirrel.”
or
What’s the difference between a Lada and a Jehovah’s Witness?
You can shut the door on a Jehovah’s Witness.
or
How many Irish sons does it take to change a light bulb?
No,no, that’s alright - you go on out and enjoy yourself, and I’ll just sit here in the dark.
You don’t; you get down off a duck.
Or
Two men are out shopping for shirts.
They stop outside a shirt shop and one of the men points
to a rather fine hand made shirt in the window.
‘There’s the one I’d get.’
Just then, the owner- a cyclops- came out and punched him on the nose.
Or
“Hello there Mr Barman…..
(says nothing for 20 seconds)
…Could I have a pint of guinness(extra cold of course)
please….”
“sure, said the (friendly, of course) Barman,
But why the big Paws??”"
or
What do you care? You don’t understand!
or
Two cows in a field.
One says, “I’m very worried about this mad cow disease”.
The other says, “It doesn’t bother me, Im a squirrel.”
or
What’s the difference between a Lada and a Jehovah’s Witness?
You can shut the door on a Jehovah’s Witness.
or
How many Irish sons does it take to change a light bulb?
No,no, that’s alright - you go on out and enjoy yourself, and I’ll just sit here in the dark.
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