Sunday 29 March 2009

Preparing for UKLUG in Edinburgh #2 - Don't use the Scottish version of Vista!

It has come to my attention that several people when they heard UKLUG is happening in Edinburgh may have downloaded the Microsoft Vista Haggis Fix and Language pack to immerse themselves in the "Scottish Geek Experience" prior to journeying to the Scottish capital in October. This was very far sighted of you, but may have come as a bit of a shock.

If you did download this you may need some help understanding the commands. The Scotland edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads "WINDAES VISTA, Ye Ken!" It has a background picture of William Wallace superimposed on a St. Andrews Cross and is shipped with a Mel Gibson screen saver.

The Recycle Bin is called 'Thon Bucket.'
My Computer is called 'Thon Computer Thingie.'
Dialup Networking is called 'Phone the Bhoys.'
Control Panel is known as 'Daworkins'
Hard Drive is referred to as 'thon whizzy thing way maw porn onit.'
DVDs are referred to as 'thon wee plastic disc thingies.'

Other features:
- Instead of the standard error message you get a window covered with a picture of a turnips and the cheerful message "Aw fer feck's sake!"
- OK = 'ats fine'
- cancel = Get ti fuk ye baw bag
- reset = Och ye'd be as weel startin again
- yes = Och aye
- no = nae chunce mon
- find = if ye'd bothered to pit it in a safe place, ye widnae need to look for it noo
- go to = go'n ower 'ere
- back = back the wye
- help = geese a haun'
- stop = pack it in
- start = com on 'en
- settings = sittins
- programs = stuff whit daes stuff
- documents = stuff I hive done afore

Also note that Windaes Vista Haggis does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Windaes Vista Haggis
- "Pincil an paper" is a word processor
- "Colurrinin book" is a Graphics program
- "Addinup" is the calculator
- "Andrex" is the notepad
- "Mawtoons" is the CD player
- "Pickies" is the graphics viewer
- "Tax records" is a program that creates an empty file

If you have problems please feel free to contact the UKLUG Etiquette and ferign baw bag's Liaison team.

Disqus for Domi-No-Yes-Maybe