Pull up your chairs and partake in the wisdom I am about to offer...
Good, then I will begin ...
Never take a twitter capable device into a bar or party at which strong liquor is about to be consumed UNLESS you have a "Designated Tweeter" with you at all times.
The DT (as they will henceforth be know) will have complete control of all TWITTER capable devices for the evening, and all updates will be routed through them and their (hopefully) better judgment.
This sage and timely advice comes from the bitter wine sack of mine own experiences of yesterday evening with the equally culpable Mr Mooney.
Last nite was a NotesBeer evening resplendent in in GONADly goodness. Held as per tradition demands in The Crown Bar Belfast. A place of long and majesterial history for in it's victorian tiled porcelain toilets such luminaries as John Wayne, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela and Shamie "5cocktele" Maginnes have taken a tinkle. We were indeed splashing our boots from the shoulders of giants!
Before I start I have to mention that as I wandered the streets of Belfast, lost in wonder at the size and glitter of the city that it is possible to buy crackers from Ann Summers (an emporium that purveys things that vibrate and clothes with way to many holes and lacy frippery for my tastes) I was led to wonder, all be it briefly and accompanied by much shuddering as to what the aforementioned crackers contained and how best to explain them to the vicar. Perhaps I would have just let him wear the crotchless panties as a hat.
I had great hopes for MrMooney when as an opening libation he went for a G'n'T however this was not to last as he quickly reverted to Coors Light but he had a note from his mummy and was thus excused detention.
The mandatory 1.5 pints an hour was met and surpassed with ease, not withstanding Mr Mooney's lack of stature in the ... err... stature department and many topics of great import and sagely wisdom were discussed.
An example of the deleterious effects of the credit crunch was noted in that we were able to get a seat in one of the snugs accompanied by 3 ladies of the opposite sex no less. These were not GONADs and wisely choose to ignore us as we went about the business of the day.
However , as the evening progressed it was decided that twitter was far to "nice" of late and that in the interest of livening it up a little we would act as agent provocateurs and add some spice to the mix. This resulted in ill advised tweeting about java and a poorly worded riposte to a post by John Head Mr Scoble re Lotusphere.
It has been decided that to avoid such things happening at NotesBeer and GONAD events that there will be a "Designated Tweeter" who will act as it were like a content control filter on all tweets from the more lubricated celebrants. However Points will be still be given for Inventiveness and gratuitous use of the words "Feck" and "Cock" in any 140 character missive.
That is all for now as my hangover has just faded and it is time for a wee Stella Act the Tw*t
PS Apologies were tendered by both participants to their respective family members for the total inability to talk sense or make tea when we arrived home.