Casting my eye over Planetlotus i note with interest the number of reviews of 2010 that have appeared, it is the time of year for that sort of thing i know, but I have never been one for following the trend in such things, I plough my own furrow so to speak.
Being Irish and coming from a long line of Irish rogues and nere-do-wells it was deemed useful for we adult male McDonaghs to be adepts in the ancient art of Rhubarbomancy, (Which for those of you unfamiliar with the occult arts is seeing into the future using Rhubarb ... i can not go into details but it involves sugar in your belly button and coatsie's rhubarb jam recipe)
So I have cast the leaves, mashed up the stems and filled my belly button with sugar and can now give you the Review of 2011
January
Not a lot happens in January well for me anyway other than a greater than usual Lotusphere 2011 envy. Which was due to the twit stream and blogs being full of the leaked news of a new lotus web 2 gadget called The Blog And SameTime Aggregated Rss Device now affectionately known as "The Bastard". Ahh to be have been there when it was announced but such is life.
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
February
A bit of bad code in the new UKs Electoral Commission Candidate Registration Software slips thru unit testing but more on this in May. Theo Hesselmans unveils to much applause his iBlooter his expertly crafted calendaring and scheduling app for mobiles devices linked to the Domino MonLezGetBlootered NSF
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
March
Ed Brill is awarded the Senior Exceptionally Imposing World Wide Figurehead Personage with a really tidy blog design award 2011. Ed was, as always, gracious at the award ceremony where he promised that he would continue to both be a figure head and have a tidy blog
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
April
I get a new mac book pro, and ipad, a new fireblade, new leathers, new helmet for my birthday ... which is nice ... as is the offer of a place on the Ulster Rugby team for the Heineken Cup Final, but I couldn't really take it up SWMBO wouldn't let me, something about being to old!
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
May
The bug in the Electoral Commissions system results in a corruption of the candidates for the local Northern Ireland Elections with the Crufts Dog Show entrantts list. As a result the Mayor of Belfast is now a Pommerainian called PootsiePoo.
UKLUG in Manchester is a roaring success and at an after conference meal Rob Novak believing he was signing for some 4am chips actually signed himself Viktor and Julian up to Manchester United. Julian was last seen worrying about the end of game communal baths. Viktor and Rob play in the FA Cup Final.
Paul Mooney thinks he got taller, but there was a twist in the measuring tape
Bill Buchan wins a rosette at the Marykirk raft race, it seems he won the "best raft" prize after floatingon his back for 10 mins near the finish.
June
The month of the great podcast famine ... the release of fat electrons onto the Internet by ISPs to throttle streaming of BBC's Top Gear accidentally cause chaos as no-one can download podcasts. Stuart and Darren's TWIL and Bruce and Julian's Taking Notes (Julian is now playing left back for Man United) are hit badly and we in the yellowverse have nothing to listen to. Sales of Take That's come back CD rocket as a result
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
July
There is a heat wave everywhere except Coleraine where it snows. Everyone strips off and goes to the beach, mountains, lakes or anywhere else but their desks. As a result nothing happens
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
August
SWMBO Val gets telegrams from the Queen,Pope and all the heads of state of the G7 for staying married to me for so long and in doing so has made the world a safer place for the last 25 years.Eileen, Coatsie and I receive good news that the 2012 Olympics are allowing the Danderathon as an exhibition sport.. The Danderathon comprises going for a long walk having a cracking good meal and drinking a lot.
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
September
In a surprise move IBM shock the community by announcing Notes 8.5.4 has got a new version of Lotusscript however it transpires a "NOT" was left out a press release but it did provide the bloggers with ample grist to the mill of vent, rant and professional dribbling. It continues even now.
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
October
Java suddenly makes sense! ... No wait that was a dream i had after a particularly fine Stilton and a few glasses of port.
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
November
Twitter's new interface is unveiled ... everyone thinks it is shit but then they always do
Marybeth Raven unveils the new Notes UI which incorporates the new Temporal To Do List which takes your Future To Do's, opens a small portal in the space time continuum checks if you actually do the task or just couldn't be arsed and if the latter it silently deletes in. To Do lists sudden become REALLY useful
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
December
The mini ice age strikes again cold cold cold snow snow snow ice ice ice. This year LS12 plans not only to provide a nice backpack but special Lotus Snows Socks for the northern hemispherian lotii.... and so the slide production begins again for LS12
Paul Mooney gets no taller.
... so there you go,, that was 2011
