Yes you read that right ... socks are indeed evil. It says much of their devious ways than not many of the human population have noticed the depths of their perfidy!
I am sure you have noticed that regardless of the care with which you prepare your laundry at least one sock with mysteriously vanish (and i can hear a choked gurgled "how would he know" issue from the massed female mcdonaghs). BUT IT IS TRUE, socks vanish, it may seem arbitrarily however i can reveal here and now it is a cunning sockisously plan!
They slip, lubricated by comfort fabric softener (Spring Fresh variety), between the threads of the space time continum and enter the dark kingdom of Los'tlondery (you have to spit at the "t") where the current sock tyrant Angus the Great, the left foot of a pair of Argyle Golf Socks with reinforced heel, holds both sock world and the world of humans to ransom.
Where do you think all the "expense" money for MPs is going? Fixing the Mote? Cleaning the swimming pool or building a helipad ... NO ... MPs have to create these expenses so that they can keep up on the tributes to Angus the Not-Holey ... and it is not just the UK ... look at NASA ... in the 60's and 70's it was trips to the moon every 6 months, now well they have the "wrong sort of clouds" or "the wind is blowing from the south west" and nary a rocket gets off the ground. All that money .. where is it going?.. Simple! It goes to placate Angus so that he does not release his sockly horde of zombie socks into our world where they will suck your brains out as your sleep through a straw!!!!
Angus and his army is getting stronger and stronger with every sock that vanishes, soon it will be too late. Rise up Humanity! Now! Break the chains of sock based tryanny, go commando in your Crocs, slip into your hush puppies au natural or wear your Doc Martins in the buff!
You have been Warned!