ILUG countdown widget

If you would like an ILUG 2010 Widget like the one on the left just copy this code into a convienent HTML/JS widget enclosurer on your blog

<script language='javascript' src='http://slightlydoolally.com/ilugcd.js'></script><div id='ilug'></div><script>ilugcd()</script>

Help required with Duffy The Opera (An Idea waiting for a very drunken party)

It has been suggested by Mike Smith that we make the "Duffy" epic into an opera.. and tentative work has begun.. picture the scene.. duffy in a cubicle with the lights subdued and a general air of saddness fills the stage.. Duffy takes a deep breath and start to sing....the Duffy Aria ....

Im being swallowed by a sharepoint migration
I'm being swallowed by a sharepoint migration
I'm being swallowed by a sharepoint migration
And I don't like it very much

Oh blow (oh blow) it's swallowed my workflow  (it swallowed my workflow)

Oh peff (oh peff) it's swallowed NSF  (it's swallowed my NSF)

Oh pishty (oh psihty) he's up to my twistie (it's up to my twistie)

Oh Lawks it's swallowed my BookMarks (it's swallowed my bookmarks)

Oh grace (oh grace) he swallowed my workspace (he swallowed my workspace)

Oh dash it's swallowed my cache, (it's swallowed my Cache)

Oh feck, it's up to my .....

[Duffy collapses in a sobbing heap]

This is a work in progress additional lines required .. apply below

Single authenticated point of entry to iNotes for all your users

It has been a while since I did a Domino Geek posting, however I came across this today and thought I would share it. Basically you can if you know the URL get into your Lotus Notes eMail via a browser. The problem is that most users can be .. well .. forgetful and having to remember a big long string of characters is a bit of a pain that and we wanted a single URL that would (a) authenticate the user and (b) open the mail file so we came up with this solution.

*Edit* It has been pointed out in the comments that there is a "Redirect" function  built into notes, there is and it very useful, however it does require some work on each server and when you have lots of servers in remote locations using different languages and to be honest I wanted a simple one stop shop, replicate it to all servers when needed. what follows is an alternate to, but not necessarily better than what is provided naturally **

A single NSF with a short URL  http://[yourserver]/wmg.nsf/wmail.html
This launches a page that looks like this

The user logs in and if successful their mail file opens.

So how did I do this?

A) When the Button on form on the page is clicked a call is set up to
names.nsf?login with the PostData set up with the userid and password
most importantly there is also a "REDIRECTTO=" parameter in the PostData that directs (on successful authentication) to an agent called OPENMAIL

B) The call to the url with the postdata is sent to the server via an AJAX call

C) If the authentication fails the AJAX call receives the default login page, and an error msg is sent to the user

D) If authentication is sucessful the REDIRECTTO parameter is called directing the browser to the OPENMAIL agent.

E) The OpenMail agent does a look up on the NAB and extracts the mail file name for the user

F) The URL that will open the user's mail file is constructed on the server and returned to the browser as a JSON variable.


G) The URL is used in some JS to change the location.href, and since the browser is now authenticated the mail file opens.(in this case in LITE mode you can tweak the code the way you see fit)


Simples...

Proper un-encrypted and ACLed file


Download .. stick in the data dir of your server, sign it, sign it again (just to be sure) and got to http://[yourserver]/wmg.nsf/wmail.html or add the link to your intranet 

Enjoy

Offical Minutes of the ILUG oganising committee - 9th Aug 2010

**** Names, locations and proclivities have been redacted to protect the guilty ****

ILUG 2010 is now so certain to go ahead that Celine Dion is penning the lyrics to the theme song and even as I write the organisers are throbing with preternatural wibbliness for tonite was one of the famed ILUG 2010 skype calls.

Date : 09 August 2010

Time : 21:00 BST

Place: Skypeverse

Those Present:

The very small just married one who can't say THREE properly

The very organised one with a clipboard and matching walking boots

The one that builds things from wee bricks

The one that looks after the one that builds things from wee bricks

The American one that gives away drink

The socttish wide and pleasantly demented one

The scottish one that is less wide than the other scottish one and has better ties

The goddess of all things adminy, thrice blessed be her id file and smiting wand

The quiet perpetually tired one (well he does have twin toddlers)

The one that can never get a hotel room cos reception laugh about his name

The one who wont see ILUG because the organised one will have killed him with a clipboard

Apologies:

Apolgies were heard from the one that actually has a social life because was having a social life and it was nothing at all to do with xPages .. honest .. were read into the minutes and accepted amidst much muted jealousy and "Harrumphs!"

Agenda 

********* had an agenda, but managed to loose it in *** handbag. ******* put it to the floor that we should make it up as we went along, this was seconded by ******** and put to the vote which was passed with ********* abstaining because he wasn't llistening and thought we were voting on allowing ******* with cucumbers to be a special session thread.


Item 1: Session Threads
It was decided that unlike other LUGs we would strike out in new creative ways and rename our session threads. So for ILUG 2010 instead of Administration , Development , Management and Sponsor threads they would be called and themed "Postman Pat" , "Bob the Builder", "Dragon's Den" and "Top Gear" 


Item 2: Organisers Costumes
Given the credit crunch ILUG2010 will be unable to pay for the complete body wax for **** ******** and as a result there will be no, I repeat no, Developer Guru Mankinis. However it was proposed that in the spirit of solidarity with our bothers and sister geeks from around the world we will dress up as cups of coffee and pieces of cold pizza.


Item 3: Entertainment
It was noted in the minutes that we in ILUG are forward thinking, tuned in, hip to the beat sort of people and we take seriously our responsibility to entertain our guests. Much discussion and ideas were considered and a suggesstion by ********* seconded by ********* that ********* be tied to a stake and flogged with a dead fish because of the "tigger" song was thankfully not passed. However "Turf Throwing" , "Wheelbarrow Jousting" "Cucumber Sandwich Discus Throwing" and "3Legged xPage Coding" are all in the short list.

Item 4: Session selection

As per usual ILUG has been gifted with a surfeit of sessions and as we have too many some will have to be, reluctantly, turned down. Some of the ones that didn't make it are.

"iTrolley - The making of the track your shopping trolleys mashup"

"Making it so - xPage Mobile Contols and Star Trek" 

"Organized Crime and DAOS - the untold story"

"NerdGirls are from Venus and NerdGuys don't know what soap is for"

"Tivoli - Cool Software or a big park in Denmark?"

"Quickr flavoured Yogurt - the real story"

with fantastic sessions like this not making the cut how good are the select ones??

Item 5: Any Other business

********* Asked "Why is it called Donkey Kong when there is no donkey?"  the response from ********* was that if a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half it would take a donkey with a wooden leg 20 mins to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle. These seeds made up the contents of the barrels in the aforementioned game ergo Donkey Kong.

There being not other any other business the new ILUG tune was played and everyone sang along with great gusto except ******* who really really doesn't like being called Tigger and had never heard the song before.

Duffy the Banana Slayer - Chapter 3 "Is this your Ewok?"

Where we are introduced to a Pseudo French Inspector, Mistress Marybeth of the "Never used Vista Virgins" and the difference between Dastard and Bastard


He looked around the room surrounded by the detritus of a party. Half eaten pizzas beer bottles by the dozen, an unturned bottle of diet Coke in a ice bucket, a dart board with a picture of Bill Gates on.. the picture was more hole that picture. He stooped and picked up a crumpled flyer "Sharepointless Summer Party" .. yes they had been here and recently.

Flinching at the creaking of a floorboard he turned and dropped into Debugo-Ketsu Dachi stance in one fluid movement.

"Hello..." said Privet "Why are your wearing gloves and a hazmat suit and why have you stuck one thumb in your nose and the other in your ear?"

Privet while a recognised expert in all things javascript was not a adept in the higher forms of programming martial arts. Duffy nudged him and said "Shhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"ello" said the man his accent thick and quite hard to understand "wot our yew doing ere?"

"We live here" said Privet

"Ahhhhh " said the man .. "that wood hexplain hit"

"And you are ..... ?" Privet let his question drift like a fart in a crowded lift.

The man relaxed "I am Inspector Áchaux, Rob Áchaux of the Surrette DAOS squad" he paused, "Is this yer eeewuk?"

"yereeeewuk?" enquired Privet

"Oui  yer EEEEWUK?"

"Sorry no still not quite there.. my what?"

"EEEEWUK you know .... zay our zmall and vury hairy .... from stur warez"

"stur warez? ... ooooo Star wars .. ahhh you mean EWOK!"

"Yes EEEEWUK zat is what I said"

"That is not an Ewok" Privet replied, " Zat is .. sorry that is Duffy"

"Duffy The Banana Slayer (tm)?" asked Inspector Áchaux, his accent suddenly replaced by a southern drawl, which to some ears is as bad as a faux french one.

"Yes that would be me" replied Duffy somewhat hurt but not that surprised by the Ewok reference, well it was better than Pappa Smurf but not much.

"I have been sent here by..." Áchaux paused, looked around and whispered "Bruce of the Very Large Fonts ,may he be Brilled for ever, of the council of elders sent me to bring news of the HellNose"

"Right" said Duffy, "and about time too! Privet ... make tea, come Inspector Áchaux we have much to talk about"

"Portaland is full of evil evil forces. There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense" said the Inspector

Duffy finched "No, I think that would be one of the normal five."

Privet returned with the tea ... "well Duffy is the man for you if fighting evil is what you want"

Duffy swelled to his full height ... "I can beat up the Microsofties until the cows come home... and then I can beat up the cows."

"So we in the council of Elders have heard" intoned the Inspector, " and that is the reason I am here!. After many meetings and staring into the shiney side of the Sacred Connections Installation DVD we have become aware of a plot, a dastardly plot..."

"Yes Microsofties are reall bastar..."

Duffy interupted Privet .. "No Priv Dastard, it is like bastard but written in C#"

The Inspector sipped his tea and continued

"Indeed dastardly , dastardly in the extreme. It would seem the powers of evil are amassing on the other side of the rift. Large ripples in the sametime development cycle have been observed and Mistress MaryBeth of the We have never used Vista Virgins has had troubling visions of really really really boring user interfaces and infinitly pointless button bars!"

The inspector's words hung heavy in the air just like when you walk into a pair of just washed tights hung carelessly in the bathroom by a girlfriend.

"Feck" said Privet

"Feck indeed!" said Duffy "Tell us More inspector.. we need details"

Duffy the Banana Slayer - Chapter 2 "The Journey Home"

In which we do not meet Nigel the out of work sarbannes oxley auditor and bus shelter attendant, Duffy has a Beatlemania flash back, Bill Buchans Knees make an appearence and we meet Gladys from the Sharepoint Coven


The group had been partying in the tea shops of south central Portaland. Tonight was the re-opening of the hottest geek club in town. The owner had completely remodelled the club in yellow and renamed it "Banana Daiquiri". No one actually knew who it was that now owned the club there were rumours of someone called Big Ed from Chicago who seemed to spend a lot of time in airports. Much Googling by the locals had turned up nothing of interest apart from a rather good article on knitting with seaweed by someone called Brill. Why he named the club the way he had was another mystery. Bananas were scare in Oregon lots and lots of Moose and few bananas, but everyone agreed, it made a pleasant change from "The Debuggers Break Point and Social Club".. and there, gentle reader we will leave the revellers and catch up with our hero.

Duffy pulled the collar of his coat up against the light drizzle that was falling and strode out into the dusk. He hated it when it rained! Being a short arse meant that he had to be careful near the deeper puddles particularly if he hadn't brought his water wings, which he hadn't on this particular night.

The Bus Stop was empty, which was odd. Nigel who had made the bus stop his home was no where to be seen. Nigel, a Sarbannes Oxley auditor who had been caught in possession of a sense of humour and had his auditing propelling pencil broken into seven pieces by a super secretive cadre called "The Auditorium" prior to being fired, kept the bus shelter clean and tidy. He had even gone as far as installing Free Wifi, coffee machine, floral curtains and a set of steps so Duffy could climb up to the seats.

Duffy scanned the nearby alleyway, nothing there but the worn out dreams of yesterday, yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away, but now it seems they are here to stay.. yesterday.

"Damn" exclaimed Duffy, shaking his head, "I am having another rampant Beatlemania flashback" The bite of a semi-dead beatle obsessed MS-SQL 2000 admin had happened over 10 years ago on a balmy karaoke night in Kimonos. The SQLombie had not taken offence at Duffy's part in the performance of "Don't go Breaking my Heart" By Elton John and Kiki Dee, but had been driven mad by the FLASH FLASH FLASH of the white.. oh so very white knees flashing neath the hem of his partner Will Bill Buchan's kilt. Such was the potency of the toxin in the bite, Duffy would break into spontaneous Beatle related thought processes. He also had an un-natural need to talk about "Inner Left Joins" when kissing his long suffering wife.

The rain continued to fall, the bus stop remained deserted and all of Portaland seemed to be asleep, but then Portaland always seemed that way. Which in itself was odd. A town planning screw ups back in the 1850's had sealed Portaland's fate because rather than build the town on a field called "Wibbleawonqucholicasqamish" which means in the local Indian language "A nice place to build a wee town field"  the founding fathers chose a field nearby called "Zolunquanobblefon gaffa gonwallopaonopee"  which means "Undead zombies live under the rocks build your town over there in the field with the nice name stupid". Over the years those "in the know" had come to realise that Portaland was in fact built on a rift in the space time continuum thru which reruns of "I love Lucy" and "days of our lives" leaked directly into the frontal lobes of the inhabitants during the day. At night.. OOOOO .. at nite Portaland lived up to the name the slayers used for it ..... HELLNOSE.

The party goers spewed from the Banana Daiquiri into the darkness of the Portaland night. Singing songs fueled by Hendricks gin, Guinness and cucumbers they staggered down the block towards Duffy and his bustop.

He heard them long before he could see them. He made sure his coat was buttoned and he had a firm grip on his stout stick for he knew like he always did that these were the spawn of the nose. Hag ridden denizens of the realms of Redmond who were riding high on the temporary freedom of a night in Portaland.

"They may pass by" Thought Duffy, but he knew they wouldn't they never did.

"Ah ha!" shouted their leader, a tall leggy blond called Gladys. "If it isn't The Slayer!"
She spat the words out as if the saying of them had soured her spit.

Duffy turned and gave her a withering look.

"You never learn Gladys do you. You Sharepointers are all the same you never have quite all the patches that make you run clean"

"So you think you are hard .... are you hard LITTLE slayer?   are you ...."

Duffy turned slowly, arms akimbo, "Leave Now, take your friends with you"

Gladys and Duffy stared at each other looking for a weakness and in that moment .... draw

Just then a Moose that was sneaking past let loose with a stentorian fart, as is common in beasts that eat a lot of roughage. Gladys winched for a second, that was all Duffy needed, quick as flash he had intoned the sacred words of the first paragraph of "Best Practices for Building Web Applications for Domino 8.5.1" and set on Gladys and her friends with a whirlwind of blows from his stout stick.

Soon all that was left was a pamphlet on Active Directory fluttering in the breeze and a faint but distinctive smell of Bananas

Duffy sniffed

Duffy still had it.. he IS the Banana Slayer!

The bus arrived, Georgina the driver and part time WWF wrestler nodded to Duffy
Duffy got on.. and the bus pulled away
Somewhere someone was playing the music from the end of "The Hulk"but very quietly so only the gassy moose noticed

Duffy the Banana Slayer - Chapter 1 "The Adventure Begins"

Where Duffy and his sidekick Privet are introduced to the reader and Matt White gets Dissed

"Are you sure this is a good idea Privet?" Duffy asked, peering at the screen

Privet laughed at the concern in his friend's voice. "It'll be fine, Duffy. It's a very simple xPages App. I won't mess it up."

"I don't know," Duffy said, unconvinced. "I'm just not sure you should be using fancy coding tricks to spice up your life." He thought for a moment, then chuckled. "I'm still not used to the idea that you *have* a life, come to think of it."

Privet gave him a glare and stuck his tongue out playfully. "You're just jealous cos I am tall and you are a short and look like a smurf"

The comment made Duffy think of Paul Mooney

Privet noticed, and dropped the grimoire He'd been reading on him desk. "Oh, Duffy, I'm sorry! I should have thought before I said anything."
He reached down and patted Duffy on the baldy bit on the top of his head.

"It's okay, Priv," Duffy assured him, dodging the patting which was really quite hard and rather unpleasant. "I'll be okay. It's just hard, y'know?"

"I know it is," Privet said. "I don't even want to think of how I would cope if an ILUG session crowd turned THAT nasty on me, and all because you mentioned Share....."


"SHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Don't even mention it! It was bad enuff for me but what about Bill?" Duffy exclaimed,

"What about him?" Privet replied, confused.

"I don't think they ever managed to remove that QUICKR memory stick!" Duffy said

Privet whinced at the memory and started to reply, and Duffy cut him off...
"You never spend any time with the debugger any more. You're always cracking code with no error trapping ... Commando Coding..." Duffy shook his head "Pretty soon you will be appearing in your OWN worst practices session at lotusfear!"

"That's not true!" Privet said, stung by Duffy's words. Duffy gave him a look, and he went on,
"Okay, I guess I am It's just... weird , Duffy. I've coded in LS since I was a young coder, but since xPages came along I feel like .... I don't even know LS coding anymore."

"And why do you think that is?" Duffy asked.

"I don't know," Privet said. Duffy gave him another look, and he sighed. "Okay, I do know. It's Matt White. Everything's been different since I took his xPages 101 session at IamLUG."

“Ah HA!” Exclaimed Duffy … “You HAVE been more than dabbling in the dark arts then?”

"I have not!" Privet cried.

"Yes, you have, Privet. .. i am sure I saw you muttering “Repeateo Controlleoamus the other day!"
Privet thought for a moment, then looked down at the keyboard, unable to meet Duffy's eyes.

"arse,...." He answered in a very small voice.

Duffy nodded. "Yeah," He said, softly. "arse indeed, Priv. You are nibbling away at the dark side's cookies and soon you will have NO time for Lotuscript and you will code nothing but xPages”

Privet shivered, remembering the undead double variable that had caused so much trouble with the POS application. "That was the last time.. honestly!"

"It had better be!" Duffy said. "because you know the next stage is a quick slide into CSS and then it will all be over!” Privet's head snapped up, and Duffy reassured him, "That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's natural for you to want to play with new things. But you can't forget the old, the Old Ways are important, too."

"Yeah," Privet agreed. "I know." He looked into Duffy's eyes. "Did Steve ask you to talk to me about this?"

Duffy smiled. "Yeah," He admitted. "He is an old fart but Steve and Bob B are the Arch prelates of the Old Ways and while they won't admit it, but they are worried about you"

Privet smiled back "I do miss the joy of DIM s as NEW NotesSession ... Okay, then. I'll throw a few LS Libraries together , I promise, and I will put them on OpenNTF too.”

"Good," Duffy said, climbing onto a handy box of Lotus 4.5 installation diskettes to shake Privet's hand. "Very good."

Releasing his friend, he asked, "Now, are you sure you want to do this code?"

Privet replied. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure."

"Do I want to know what it does?" Privet looked heavenwards, after a second Duffy went on, "That's a no, then. Just be careful, Privet. and no playing with the live servers or Eileen with have your guts for garters?"

"What do you mean?" Privet asked.

"ITIL Protection, that's what I mean. You'll make sure you're safe, right?"

"Of course, Duffy! I, uh, I did “Change Management for Careless Devs 101” only last week. I even stayed awake the WHOLE way through! And I always use... you know...", Privet Blushed Deeply,  "Lots of logging" his voice trailled off , embarrassed.

"Good," Duffy said, relieved. "And on that note, I'm outta time. I'd wish you luck, but I don't want to get that involved, and I have a bus to catch"

Privet laughed. "I don't blame you. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Good," Duffy said. Then he waved and left Privet alone with his code.

Privet smiled after him friend, then went back to sorting arrays using arcance and deviant tricks.