Tuesday 4 November 2008

Dominoyesmaybe's new job as an agony aunt for geeks

In the current economic climate (oh I am starting to hate that phrase) we are all faced with uncertain times and as of last weekend I have started offering myself as an Agony Aunt for all your geeky angst. No problem is too icky or horrible for the dedicated and professional team of fellow geeks who will give you grounded and well thought out advice. We have so far helped Mr X with his microwaved cheesy bagel problem (melted cheese is SO hard to get out of nylon!) Mr Y with his compulsive administration disorder and Ms Z from her fear of airport security checks.

This week we look at interpersonal relationships

Dear Dominoyesmaybe,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

Fishing 5.0,
Rugby 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.6a

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please goto: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 fixpack. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program .These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7

Best of luck to you!
The Dominoyesmaybe Team



** Thanks to relationship specialist "Jim T" for his email input into answering this cry for help **

Disqus for Domi-No-Yes-Maybe