Sunday 4 December 2011

Ye Godz gets an email!

It was many moons ago that awesome team of Fabulous Francie and Professor Ignatius Gonad IV were called upon by a member of the liaty to answer one of their problems. Sadly the domain is no longer active ... it is a long story which I may be allowed to tell some day when they lift the court orders. However the questioner got around this knowing that I was a close friend of Ignatius Gonad and knew I that would be able to contact him  and sent me the email and I am very glad to be able to reproduce the email and the Professors reply here in the august pages of DominoYesMaybe

Dear Professor and Fabulous:

First, let me convey my deep condolences for the cancellation of your
"Troubled Geek" show. Initially, the loss of this bastion of comfort in a
cold, cold world saddened me nearly to the point of doing myself harm! But
then I took a nap and felt much, much better. I do hope to see you back on
the air again soon.

Now, to my question. While investigating some of the detailed behavior of
"garbage collection" in the "Java" programming language, I decided to put
some background music on in my "office". I chose to loop the Ping Floyd
song "Wish You Were Here", as it seemed appropriate for certain situations
when the "Java" "Garbage Collector" (why do they call it that, anyway?
Seems a bit supercilious, no?) removes bits of memory that I really did not
want it to.

Here's the problem: My son, who is not a fan of Pink Floyd, wandered by and
criticized my choice of "entertainment". He claims that the Beatles song
"Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except for Me and My Monkey)" is far
more appropriate, as (in his explication) the "Monkey" in the song
represents my missing heap storage, and that, beyond simply stating the
problem, the song also provides useful "advice" (i.e., "Take it easy").

I, however, claim that "Take it easy" actually refers to the methodology
implemented by the "Garbage Collector", by which the so-called "garbage" is

Who is right, he or I?

Thank you for your adjudication!

A Fan

and the reply ...
Comrade Fan

Since Fabulous Francie as at this time deep in her research program on
the effect of suntan oil on the defrag time of AIX servers I will jump in

Alas and alack, is as you have found no more
due to an unfortunate incident with some Pirate Rum, an unripe banana
and a goat about which I can say no more other than the nun now has
a restraining order.

I believe you problem lies not in the choice of music but in your unnatural
urges with respect to Java! In their seminal work "Javaphiliacs, the Hidden
deviants" by Weisenberg, Smith and Widdle 2002 the abnormalities that
lie deep in the psyche of those that dabble in the deep murky stack of Java
can be traced back to incidents in early childhood that involve wellingtons
(I believe you americans call then gumboots), wheelbarrows and an inability
to eat icecream with a spoon.

You son's perspicacious grasp of the situation is laudable however it seems
he too may be suffering from C++osopatheticsonolasitis, which is in short
a perpondersance to see more meaning the the words of messieurs Lennon
and McCartney than in fact is actually there.

So in effect what I am saying is you are both wrong and should immeadiately
repair to Itoons and purchase "We're Only in It For the Money" by Frank Zappa
and the Mothers the only album to play when considering anything to do with
Java and it makes about as much sense!

Much Love and Hedgehogs!
Professor Gonad

Professor Gonad wishes me to make known to the world at large that the authorities are quite happy for him to answer any and all of your queries using the good offices of DominoYesMaybe as an intermediary. The Prof is also a great believer in collaboration and invites not only your problems but your input in the comments section of any posts he may receive and reply to

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